eponymous-rose:

I just wanted to thank folks for the good discussion and kind words following last week’s episode! I’m feeling a whole lot better about the fandom lately knowing that it’s demonstrably a very small group being very loud.

I also wanted to expand on something that came up during the discussion. One of the reasons the “Vax gets in the way of Vex’s character growth and she should stop hanging around him so much because Percy is on a more similar character trajectory” arguments bother me so much is that it effectively strips away the only major source of support in Vex’s life that doesn’t have to do with her romantic relationship.

Vax’s relationship with Percy has shifted back to one of wary friendship over the past dozen or so episodes.

Every single time Vex compliments Percy or mentions how much she appreciates the support he’s given her, she says things like, “Nobody’s ever stood up for me like that, outside of my brother.” He’s clearly very important in Vex’s life still, and yet there’s this weird fannish narrative cropping up, absolutely crossing the line into sexism, that’s all about women being solely defined by their romantic relationships and all other relationships being twisted to become antagonistic at best or secondary at worst. 

For anyone on the fence about how insidious this kind of thinking is, I’ll just point out right now that I have never seen a post about how Keyleth and Percy shouldn’t be best friends anymore because Keyleth is a bad influence on Percy with her current revenge obsession. On the contrary, folks on this website have been delighted that he has these close platonic ties, and they generally enjoy the conversations as challenging both character’s worldviews. 

The fanfic has shifted over the past four or five months as well; Vex fics that don’t feature Percy are becoming relatively few and far between, whereas Percy fics that are about aspects of his life outside of Vex have remained as numerous as they ever did before the jump in Percy/Vex. Percy is allowed to have stories about his family or his inner demons or his upbringing or even his conversations with Keyleth. Vex is much more pigeonholed into making-Percy-feel-better narratives. In isolation, a few of those stories aren’t a big deal. When they’re making waves in a big way, though, it starts to get a little dodgy.

I actually find Percy/Vex interesting. I enjoy Percy as a character. I’ve written from Percy’s POV far more often than I have Vax, although I love ‘em both. But it comes down to this: if you can only get behind a m/f ship by painting the female character’s non-romantic relationships in an antagonistic or secondary light, your dislike for a character may be operating a lot more out of an internalized sexist defensiveness than you think, and it’s just something to keep in mind. 

To a certain degree, frustratingly pedantic as they are, I can almost understand the motivation behind the rules-lawyers types. But when folks are going out of their way to point out every single thing Vax and Liam have ever done wrong in defense of their favorite ship, it’s a less-overt but no less skin-crawling spin on what the assholes of reddit are saying every time they go “I feel so bad for Travis watching his wife hug another man” or “poor Matt is such a cuck whenever Marisha hugs Taliesin.” 

You can dislike a character. You can be annoyed at a decision. But if the only ones constantly harping on that character or that decision are coincidentally the loudest advocates of a particular ship, I figure it’s a sign that a whole lot of this is crossing the line into defensiveness, entitlement, and a healthy helping of internalized misogyny. 

I don’t know that I can get through to anyone who’s really entrenched in this way of thinking right now, but to everyone else: just be careful and try to stay self-aware. It’s very, very easy to fall into this way of thinking.