💬 ❤❤

Oh, wow, okay, I didn’t expect to get any of these!

“This is
all so backwards, though,” she muttered. “You get money and wealth to stay
alive. To keep your family alive. Now I have all this fucking money and other
forms of wealth, and I still lost you. What the fuck?” She was going to get
such a headache from all this crying later on, but fuck it. Wasn’t this what
she was supposed to be doing?

“I mean,
I-I know all this wealth is going to make sure that neither I nor my kid will
ever have to get involved with shady shit to feed ourselves, not like the two
of us had to, but, that’s just…” She buried her head in her hands to avoid
looking at the empty temple. “That’s not what I ever hoarded money for! That
was to get the two of us through the next day, the next week, the next month.
And now you’re gone, and I won’t have do that anymore, ever, and I failed at the one job I had! If I’d had
the diamonds ready immediately after you died, none of this would have
happened!”

She cowered
there, sobbing, in her little foldable chair, in a cold, clammy, empty temple
for a few more minutes, again beseeched by the realization that this was
pointless. It wasn’t making her feel any better, only worse. It made her feel
even less whole, even emptier than she already did feel with her other half
gone. Pointlessly talking to him about how bad she felt for losing him, for
failing him in the one thing she could do, wasn’t helping her at all, and she
also knew if he were around to actually hear her, Vax wouldn’t have any of it,
either.  

“I’m sorry,
I can’t do this,” she muttered into her hands after a while. “I… Have to go.
I’m sorry. I don’t know if I’ll ever be back.” And with that, she practically
fled the dark and gloomy interior of the temple as quickly as her current
condition allowed, never looking back. Not even when she heard ravens caw.

[From Grief chapter 3]