snugz:

kirklanddryersheet:

gimme-da-memes-b0ss:

Bulbasaur was never the same after that day 🐉

Omg omg I got a bulbasaur at build a bear and I was kinda embarrassed about buying it for myself and stuff but there weren’t any other kids in the store or shoppers for that matter and the girl helping me said she was glad to here it was for me as she collects some plushies and has her own bulbasaur.

Well she was almost done stuffing him and then I noticed that you can put scents in your bear and fucking love cotton candy and the girl basically car salesmen style sold me on the scent pad and asked where I wanted the scent to go

And I didn’t know where it should go but she herself being quite the plushie enthusiast was like “you’re gonna hug him a lot right? may I reccomend right here” and pointed to his forehead

So I was like “awe cute yeah that sounds good” (my bulbasaur is totally stuffed mind you and I even had her make him extra firm )

and then the girl rolls up her sleeves and was like “alright bulbasaur! Here we go! I apologize in advance but this is gonna look very inappropriate!”

And she fisted my super full bulbasaur all the way to her elbow saying sorry to him and to me over and over again. It took her several tries to get the scent pad in place since my bulbasaur was so stuffed and she looked like she was straining and saying “I don’t know why they didn’t think about this design more, so many parents are gonna complain about this one day, I know it”

So all in all this was the best build a bear experience I’ve had since I was a little kid and I love my fat, cotton candy scented, anally inclined bulbasaur to pieces

Every time I see this post I cant stop fucking laughing

barfyscorpion:

wildarcy:

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

  • “Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 
  • “Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 
  • “We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“
  • “Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“
  • “On April 19th, I made bread.“
  • I have buggered men.“

  • “If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“
  • “It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“
  • “Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“
  • “Epaphra is not good at ball games.”
  • “Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“
  • “Secundus likes to screw boys.“

I’ve always loved these. Humanity has never fucking changed.