Month: August 2018

glumshoe:

vampire-crimson:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

The first rule of Fight Club is: A member may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

The second rule of Fight Club is: A member must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first rule.

ship im pretty sure youre thinking of robot rules not fight club rules

no the First Law of Robotics is: you do not talk about robotics

stephendann:

churchyardgrim:

slightlyfrumiousbandersnatch:

just-shower-thoughts:

The fact that we can accidentally bite the insides of our cheeks has to be the biggest design flaw of the human body.

NO SORRY IT’S THE FACT THAT OUR TRACHEA AND ESOPHAGUS CROSS AND BRIEFLY OCCUPY THE SAME HOLE
DOLPHINS DON’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.

WE ONLY GET ONE SET OF ADULT TEETH THAT ARE DESIGNED TO LAST MAYBE HALF OUR EXPECTED LIFESPAN

OUR LOWER BACKS ARE STRUCTURALLY FUCKED FROM MAKING A SHITTY TRANSITION TO BEING BIPEDS

INTELLIGENT DESIGN MY ASS, BUT AT THE VERY LEAST WE’RE NOT HORSES

“In conclusion, the humans were extremely angry until they saw the horse, and then thought ‘Well, that bastard’s got it rough, this ain’t so bad’“

Honestly, the real design flaw here is that AFTER we accidentally bite the insides of our cheeks, it SWELLS so we can BITE IT MORE. How the fuck is this sustainable.

queen-scribbles:

curriebelle:

All the money, the jewels, the odd and ends, the flying carpets and brooms, the enchanted weapons and armor, the bounties and titles, the keeps and manors, the hidden identities and implicating letters and evidence of betrayals, the god-guarded secrets and the bow of a fallen archfey – and still the most valuable thing Vex ever stole was a scruffy, underfed nerd she took from a prison cell.

*except perhaps the scruffy, underfed bear she stole from a pack of poachers

#perc’ahlia#I THINK ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH#IM EMOTIONS#I don’t care if the comic will debunk this later#but Vex is totally the one who found percy in his cell#u cannot take this from me#the only acceptable alternative#is that trinket found him#which is why Percy thought he was hallucinating#‘oh good’#‘a bear’#‘welp now I know I’m insane’ (curriebelle)

ao3tagoftheday:

akatonbo:

ao3tagoftheday:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “Death Kink, death fetish, terrible aftercare”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Succeeding at necrophilia but failing at necromancy

[Image Description: Reply reading “or possibly failing at necromance”]

Hey, @akatonbo! Don’t dismiss people who have casual sex with dead bodies. People who engage in necrophilia outside of a committed, monogamous relationship are stigmatized in our society. You should know better than to contribute to that marginalization! Non-romantic post-mortem sexual relationships are valid, y’all!

Excuse you, I said possibly for a reason! If it is supposed to be a romantic relationship, they’re definitely failing if they’re bungling the aftercare!

Even if you’re dead and you’re not looking for anything serious, aftercare should still be a given, but you never know what you’re going to get with a casual hook-up and there’s not necessarily any expectation that you’ll see them again; someone you’re actually dating should know better! Don’t settle even if you’re a corpse!

That’s a fair point, but this is Tumblr Discourse™ so I feel obligated to say:

@akatonbo is a vitalist asshole followers should block and report