injuries-in-dust:

imaheckincyborg:

saciecuca:

stellwrath:

injuries-in-dust:

Prompt

The peace negotiations were not going well. War seemed inevitable. Then one of the humans thought “fuck it” and decided to pet the enemy ambassador.

Someone better make this XD

Ptss @imaheckincyborg @stellwrath

———-

Carla was tired of it, the whole thing was going to hell faster than any of them anticipated and humanity was in the brink of a war because of some idiot space pirates that happened to have some humans on its crew, it wasn’t even them that attacked the Zvekrii-Gui mothership.

She could see Steve getting paler at each word traded, he was a wise old man, great at negotiations most of the time, but not even him was being able to sway the Zvekrii ambassador, despite their appearance they were known to be ruthless and hard headed.

Damn. Carla was a bulky strong giant of a woman and despite usually dressing in her military clothes she was a girly girl at heart and… and she didn’t want to go to war with them. Oh, not because she feared war or bloodshed, she could go easily batshit crazy in battle and even enjoy it, the problem was…

Zvekrii-Gui were… everything her child self could have wished aliens were, small, fluffy, pink, they seemed like the softest things in the galaxy and their eyes… big shiny cyan spheres of pure fairy dust, just like Tom her plush unicorn.

Of course she was worried with the prospect of war, she wasn’t stupid, humans rarely fought opponents so technologically matching (yeah, humans could be pretty despicable like that, but so were the aliens they were negotiating with) and the losses could be far worse than any other war the Human Empire had fought so far.

She sighed.

Steve was flailing now, wow, how professional, the Zvekrii ambassador started to leave.

In a bout of insanity Carla thought ‘fuck it’ it was going to be the last chance she would have to ever have the chance to touch the cute things anyway aside from dead bodies – probably.

When her hand connected with the ambassador head the whole room went silent and still.

The little thing looked at her with wide cyan eyes that soon started to close in bliss almost unwillingly when she started to scrach and pet his fluffy soft fur.

“You guys are the softest beautest creatures I’ve ever met.” She said softly almost to herself. “I really would hate to have to fight you guys.”

For her – and everyone’s suprise the ambassador let her pet him for a long while, and when he regained his bearings somehow he looked at her with something akin to satisfaction and… smugness? Was that right?

“What do you call that thing that you did with my head?” The Zvekrii-Gui words were translated instantly by her head implant.

“Hmm… You mean, petting…?” She tried.

“If your race are willing to greet us this way everytime our races meet for at least a hundred years, there will be no wars between our kind.” The ambassador said magnanimously and Carla lifted one brow and looked at Steve.

The poor man looked shocked for a second before starting to vigorously nod in her direction.

“Deal.” She said with a smirk.

And thus the Zvekrii-Gui & Human Petting Treaty was born and the two races became terrifying (for the overall alien community) allies.

Thank you. Thank you, you beautiful cretin for creating this

It’s amazing. I love it.