theuselesspotoo:

Each Dragon Age protagonist summed up for your pleasure

Hero of Ferelden: One-tank army. Unofficial camp counselor who will make you get along or they’re going to turn this whole army around so help me– Eternally Sighing. Everyone is terrified of them (doesn’t matter if they’re dead, people don’t believe it. And are still scared.) Probably definitely fought a spirit with their bare hands. Loves their dog more than you.

Hawke: Literal definition of a walking disaster. Can’t make it five feet before they trip over someone else’s problems. Proudest Big Sibling™. Would probably have been in less trouble if they’d stayed home for once in their goddamn lives. Has definitely heard “…who haven’t you slept with, Hawke?” at some point. Accidental spark in a city full of dried tinder. Knows they don’t deserve the friends they have; loves them regardless. B I C O N

Inquisitor: *survives an explosion that rips dimensions apart* *walks out* “I’m the what of the who now?” Definitely Did Not Ask for This Shit. Definitely got lost in the Hinterlands at least twice and no they don’t want to talk about it. Walking embodiment of the I need an adult oh shit I’m the adult meme. Certified World Leader Hand-Holder. Sighs every time Andraste is mentioned. “Oshit I have a horse?” Surrounded by too many fuckable people. Is going to need therapy once all is said and done. No puns about the arm, please.