I often refer to my bottle-raised lamb as my adopted daughter, because it’s mostly true, it temporarily keeps nosy strangers from knowing I’m an eeeevil childfree woman, and it’s hilarious when people find out. And by that time they’re usually too disturbed by the “her-daughter-is-a-sheep” thing to get on my case about the “woman-with-no-husband-or-kids-oh-the-horror” thing.
Most of my friends are aware that I do this, and will back me up in conversations without batting an eye when I reference my daughter. And the best part is that they literally never drop the story. They just 100% all the time accept that I have a two-year-old adopted daughter. The fact that she happens to be a sheep is an unimportant detail, not worth mentioning until an anecdote gets too weird to plausibly be about a human toddler.
Which actually takes much longer than you’d think, since human toddlers apparently have absolutely zero sense. “She bites if you stop paying attention to her” is believable, “she tries to eat rocks out of the landscaping” is believable, “she stuck her head through a fence and couldn’t get out” is believable. “She jumped a five foot fence and came screaming back into the house through the dog door when I left her outside in the pasture” does get some strange looks, though usually not for the right reason.
Occasionally the joke gets turned around on me, though. I posted a picture on my not-tumblr blog of her wearing my glasses, and every comment was “Oh my gosh she looks just like you!!!” “I would never have known she was adopted If you hadn’t told me!!” “Are you sure that’s not an old picture of you?!”
Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.
Can you imagine being a grown ass man thinking it’s okay to bully children for having fun instead of like actually being a reasonable adult.
If you got bullied as a kid for liking something, wouldn’t you want to be better than the people who mistreated you? Smh some people can’t even get the golden rule.
📣 If you get bullied for what you like and then believe that makes you entitled to bully other people for what they like you are a failure of a human being 📣
Nott is gonna get them tpk’d when they meet up with the Gentleman again because you just know the first thing out of her mouth is gonna be “your name is Bob?!”
i have never understood or played magic the gathering, but i have nothing but respect for it after seeing this tittieless snake woman
you could have gone the easy route. you could have given her titties. but you didn’t. cause she’s a reptile. thank you mtg. thank you.
She is feeling Fresh and Fabulous.
SHE SURE IS because she is literally finishing up a shed there, look, you can see the last of it clinging to her tail
but she’s already dressed again, after peeling off the skin that would previously have been under that armor
the only logical conclusion here is that she wanted a picture of herself at her SHINIEST and PRETTIEST and hurried to get dressed once enough of her fresh and shiny new skin was uncovered
I bet her bestie took the picture and has been eagerly waiting with the magical fantasy camera for like, hours
“oh my GOD T’sissra your scales are SO VIBRANT this picture is going to be AMAZING”
Extra bonus points because she used that skin as part of her backdrop. Its like a banner behind her head.
‘Out with the old, in with the glam!’
I support this beautiful snake lady and her excellent self-esteem and taste in shiny metallic bodices.
fun fact my cat & i are both blind so we accidentally run into each other sometimes, but bc im much louder than he is, when we get close to each other he chirps to warn me he’s there
Overdressed & Underappreciated 