when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told him, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”
Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.
Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.
Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, it’s INSANE.
The dude got arrested once before this for using a painter’s extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didn’t cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first time–which he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citations–the yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county.
When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriff’s Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-.
When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in America’s flat out fucking ballsiest “fuck you” to the gubmint I’ve ever heard of.
And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guy–his name is Stephen Ruth by the way–started GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions!
As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand… The local station, “News12″, never aired their interviews.
Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS.
Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, he’s been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy that’s out for his blood. This guy isn’t Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-.
Using tumblr slang around real people makes for some interesting miscommunication
*points to dumpster* same energy
My poor co-worker: wat
Me: the fire alarm testing is giving me war flashbacks
Me: from like, dormlife
My long suffering therapist: we’ve talked about this
Me: asdfghjjhgfgj
Sister: how are you doing that with your mouth
*in a complete deadpan* I am literally crying right now
I’ve started using more odd and specific threats I’ve seen on tumblr like “i’m going to steal your pancreas for making that pun” or “if you eat my leftovers I will cut the toes out off all of your socks” my friends think it’s hysterical and people my parents age usually give me a frightened “you’ll WHAT?” oddly old people also find it hysterical and usually have witty comebacks
threatening to cut the toes off of socks is the scariest threat by far
My favorite thing about this is that Dottie is getting fucking object concealment tips from these genius food-stealing women and she’s probably using that knowledge to hide idek small thermonuclear devices in her bra or something. Probably went back to the Red Room afterward like “omg girls let me teach you what I learned in America. It’s vital we teach our tiny assassins to knit, I met a woman who successfully concealed a whole chicken in her sweater, they’ll need this kind of ingenuity in the field.”
I also really love that this is a large group of women who unabashedly like food and eating. None of them are going “oh no my diet, what if I get fat?”, they’re like “I CAN FIT A CHICKEN IN MY SWEATER AND THEN LATER, I HAVE A WHOLE CHICKEN FOR ME.”
Seriously look at this room full of beautiful, classy babes just stuffing their faces and saving food for later and not giving one flying fuck about being “dainty” or whatever.
it’s come to my attention that cats can’t really detect sweetness and melon has some of the same amino acids in meat, so it smells similar, so she thinks melon is meat :•)))
I’m so sorry, but this just looks like a rip from a rap video.
I’m fucking sobbing. Aragorn looks like he’s fighting off a bee before he swoops in to tackle someone. Legolas punching the air like he’s celebrating too early. The dude who’s creeping after Gimli like he’s gonna be an easy target and Gimli charging like a battering ram to crush his kneecaps. Gandalf serenely ignoring all this.
Apparently John Rhys-Davies aka Gimli did not fuck around with that poncy “not hitting the stunt men” shite..so that poor bastard probably did get speared by an armoured dwarf…
Overdressed & Underappreciated 