laura has spoken: perc’ahlia is superior
Tag: ahem
man I feel bad for all the russians who aren’t gonna get to see this episode
When I was a kid my Favorite Thing Of All Time was Sailor Moon.
(It still is. That is beside the point.)
The amount of tangential learning that spawned from my love of Sailor Moon was immense. I learned to use the internet, learned HTML, learned about geology and astrology and astronomy and mythology. I learned about Japan. It was easily Baby’s First Exposure To A Multicultural World.
I also learned there was MORE SAILOR MOON than I was able to watch. Episodes, entire seasons, I’d never seen. Bits from the episodes that I had seen that had been cut.
I was in elementary school when my best friend Lindsay showed me a picture she’d printed of Sailor Uranus (who hadn’t yet appeared on US TV). “She looks just like me!” she’d said. And then she’d whispered conspiratorially, “She’s a lesbian.”
“Woooooow.” I said, “What’s a lesbian?”
Over time I learned a LOT about the stuff that was in Sailor Moon that was being kept from me, and it was my first introduction to both queer media and homophobia and censorship. That kind of introduction quickly cemented my opinions on both.
It basically meant that I first leaned about gay folks as Something Accepted In (The REAL Version Of) My Favorite Thing and I fist learned about homophobia as The Thing Keeping Me From Getting To Have ALL Of My Favorite Thing.
I was Mormon, raised by parents who voted Bush twice. I was also a gay rights activist (in halting, embarrassing, misinformed but well-intentioned ways) by the time I was finished with 6th grade. Common sense had wiggled its way into my psyche through a silly kids show and my love for it before my parents or religion could get there first.
I feel really bad for the Russian kids and Chinese kids who aren’t going to get this episode or get a censored/edited/rewritten version of it.
I hope they find out what’s been done, and I hope their anger is as righteous and petty as mine was.
I am eternally grateful to Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network for putting the onus on those countries to do the censoring, so those kids have something to get mad out. I’m so glad they didn’t go “Well, Russia is gonna cut it, so we shouldn’t do it at all.” I’m glad we weren’t denied this because someone somewhere wouldn’t like it in their market.
Sometimes a censored show is a Trojan horse for the idea it censors, but you have to give them something to censor first. I’m so sad Russian kids don’t get to see this show as is and feel immediately safe and loved. I hope they find out they were meant to. I hope they feel safe and loved somewhere, even if it’s not where they currently get to be.
I hope there’s a kid in Russia right now telling her friend, “This is Sapphire. She’s a lesbian.”
Fool proof strategy: Everyone bum rushes Scanlan first turn. His AC is really, really bad, and Sam is a returning victor, so better not take any chances. Then, Percy and Vax get the hell out of dodge for the Kaiju battle between Keyleth and Grog, and wait until both of them are low enough to be OHKO’d by a sneak attack or a Percy action surge round. Though the latter has a very high failure rate. We then get the ultimate goth-off we deserve, likely to be won by Vax because if he has the option to hide, Percy is going to have a really, REALLY hard time of spotting him. Vax wins.
Other option: Keyleth zaps Grog anywhere with planeshift and no one forgets he has -2 on all his saves. Then turns dragon and goes off to roast some edgelords – with her wisdom, she has a chance of spotting Vax at any point and pay back some of that psychic damage their relationship has caused her.
(Though to be fair, Vax and Percy both have a decent chance of breaking Keyleth’s concentration. They’re also likely to have a higher initiative. Knocked out of dragon form, and at the business end of a Percy round with action surge, she’d go down and we get another edgelord-off. Vax wins again.)
(Also Percy is probably going splat in round two at the latest. And after giving the snitch away, he doesn’t even deserve any better.)