Marisha: I almost died today!
Liam: This is such a meta conversation, Beau doesn’t know that I almost killed her!
Marisha: Beau was literally unconscious and carried away by a troll who killed someone else just by holding them but go off I guess
Tag: cr2
After 30 minutes of theorizing with @returnofismasm: Caleb and compadres were the first of many Black Widows the empire has raised in the 15-ish years since, and Trent and Ripley were lovers. Fight me.
So Caleb spent his youth on a Genin team. An indoctrination genin team with fascist overtones.
…So a regular Genin team, come to think of it.
Taverns Before Swine – The German of CR episodes 12 & 13
[Previous episode] [Whole series]
Or actually
just episode 13. Episode 12 had no instances of German words that I recall,
except for in the Twitch commercial break when they introduced this RPG and the
woman presenting kept saying “Gestalt” which is German and means, uh. A person,
a silhouette, that person’s appearance… Lots of things. It was actually used pretty
decently in the game rules, as in, the word fit, but the pronunciation was off.
See, soft “gs” aren’t really a thing in German. They’re pretty much always hard, like in “going”.
The exception is usually words based in French or English. Also, unless it’s at
the end of a word, “st” often becomes “sht”, like “sp” becomes “shp”. I
say often, because that’s no hard and fast rule, there’s several words that
don’t do that. Gestalt does, though. I also happen to play D&D with a few
people from the very south of Germany, and at least one of them speaks a
dialect that did away with the exceptions to the “st” rule and just says “sht”
and “shp” ALL THE TIME.
(It sounds odd if you’re not from the south or other areas that have a general appreciation for the “sh” sound. It’s probably normal if you grew up with it.)
The title
joke is about Lauren Schwein. A word I actually explained in a previous
segment! Like I’m some sort of diviner or something. It means pig. Of course,
the bible quote uses the word Sau, or Säue, the plural, meaning female pigs. Male
pigs are called Eber. Schwein is just a general word for aaaalll of them. It
even has the neuter article and grammatical gender, so it’s das Schwein. For
once, it all makes sense!
And while
we’re at gendered words, Caleb did indeed not call Pumat Sol an asshole. He
said “Herr Sol,” which means Mr. Sol. Today, Herr is used as a general title to
address men, but to be the Herr of someone also means to be the owner, ruler,
or lord. Our equivalent of Ladies & Gentlemen is “Meine Damen und Herren,”
so it has a somewhat polite connotation.
Dame,
however, is not our equivalent for Mrs. or Ms. You might recognize it as an
English word, specifically very British, as in the title the Queen bestows on
women as an equivalent of Sir. Dame Maggie Smith and the like.
That’s not
what it means in German, though. It’s just a very polite word for women. The equivalent
to Mrs. or Ms. would be “Frau” and then the woman’s last name. Frau also
literally means woman. We used to have an equivalent for Miss or Mademoiselle,
too, which was Fräulein, -lein being one of the many diminutive suffixes the
German language has. The grammatical implication of that word being, more literally
than in its international counterparts, that an unmarried woman is smaller,
somehow. Less of a woman. So that hasn’t really survived second wave feminism
way back when.
(It also
just sounds kinda ugly, so I’m glad it’s gone.)
…Unless you
are my mom or any annoyed parent of a girl, then you might call her a Fräulein
in a threatening manner. Or you are my grandmother and still remember the times
when school teachers, especially at elementary schools, were only allowed to be
unmarried women and just addressed as Fräulein in general. Even though you are
also aware that your granddaughter’s elementary school teacher is very much
married, because her husband has been your daughter’s teacher about fifteen
years ago, which you definitely remember because the name is a mouthful.
But that’s
just another of these very specific personal anecdotes.
So that’s
it for what I can remember right now. If I missed anything, feel free to point
it out and I’ll add it in the concise manner in which I communicate
information. If you have any questions or need someone to check the German
Caleb says or moans in your fanfiction, feel also free to hit me up.
Everyday Life has become unexpectedly difficult

Unpopular Opinion Time (please don’t yell at me i never post things like this)
I don’t really find Caleb all that greedy. Now, before you go and type up your response to this saying that I’m just defending him because He’s the Fandom White Boy™, let me finish. While I don’t find him greedy, I DO think that he is very selfish, which may seem like the same thing, and while they do connect often, they’re not intrinsically linked. Before I go on, I would like to say that this is not me defending Caleb. I just want to discuss my thoughts on him, and appreciate how Liam plays him, because WOW
So. The semantics of being greedy over being selfish. At first glance they seem like the same thing, but there are a few key differences. Someone who is greedy is never satisfied with what they have. they always want more, even when they have plenty, and tend to hold money and items of value in very high regard. On the other hand, someone who is selfish is defined by how they look out for themselves before others. They always want to be sure that there is something in it for them- an incentive of some sort, not necessarily monetary- and won’t help unless they are sure it’s worth it.
Now, being selfish does not make you obsessed with money, or items. You just want to be sure that what you’re doing is worth your time. Caleb definitely exhibits these traits. He is always the first to ask about payment, however his approach is businesslike- focusing on the trade being fair, rather than on the money itself. (”if the money’s right and it’s not stupid!”). Once he learned that they were indeed being paid for the job from the Knights of Requital, he decided the amount was enough, and did not push for more.
Another thing against Caleb being greedy is that he doesn’t really care for finery. all of the items that he has bought so far have been for practical reasons. He has no inclination to buy nicer clothes, instead showing a great distaste at the thought. If he were greedy, he would have kept the money he found in the sewers rather than give it to Jester, and he probably would not have told Fjord about the armor, instead selling it for his own gain. Sure his reasons for choosing not to do these things weren’t exactly the most noble, but that’s kind of my point here- he did it to help himself by gaining the favor of Jester and Fjord, a selfish goal. Sure he can be a bit greedy at times, but I do not think that is his defining trait. Caleb is Selfish first and foremost.
Now this is definitely not a good thing. I would in fact argue that being selfish is worse than being greedy in a lot of situations. For instance, last night, when he tried to grab the scroll. Seems greedy at first, but really it was just him deciding that the stress and the complications of the job were not worth what he was being paid, and therefore wanted to grab the scroll to even things out. He did not believe what he was doing to be worth the pay, and therefore acted accordingly. Not going into this right now though, because this post is getting reeeeally long. all I want to say is that this struck me as more of being selfish than being greedy like most people have been saying.
Now because I know someone is going to mention Vex, I will go ahead and say a few things about her as well.
I think that Vex was pretty much the opposite of Caleb. She was greedy, but not selfish. Now, I do not think that her greed was as big of a deal as most people made it out to be. Sure it caused a few problems here and there, but for the most part it was negligible. What is important is that she wasn’t selfish. Even though she cared a lot about money, she never took too much if she knew someone else needed it. She would help people even if the payment wasn’t quite worth it, usually put others before herself, and never hid money from the rest of the group. Really the only thing that made her greedy was that she liked to be able to afford nice things. So really, she wasn’t even all that greedy, as I know for a fact that most people like to be able to do this as well. She was just more enthusiastic about money than others, which actually served Vox Machina well in a lot of situations. (her bargaining skills were bomb!)
So yeah, this is just something that I had on my mind. as a side note, I don’t really think that Caleb was in the right in last night’s episode when he tried to take the scroll (although tbh I really wanted him to. But that’s more me wanting to see a new item than me thinking about whether or not it was right), as it was kind of an asshole move. I just find Caleb an incredibly interesting and complex character (same going for the rest of the crew because Jeez), and wanted to discuss his traits and flaws, because they’re interesting. I can’t wait to see more! Anyway,
Is it Thursday yet?
Really excellent analysis here.
I think it’s also worth mentioning two things about the differences between Vex and Caleb.
Firstly, we the audience knew Vex’s reasons for her bargaining skills and fixation on money: she grew up poor and after fleeing her father, starved in the woods with her brother for years and resorted to theft to live. The broom was stolen to benefit the party, after having lost their flying carpet and also recently coming into conflict with a group of flying dragons. We the audience don’t know why Caleb is so obsessed with gaining more magical artifacts, even at the cost to the party’s cohesion and safety. So right now, people can either write this off as Caleb being a jackass, or make up elaborate theories for why Caleb is doing this, and we just … don’t know for sure yet.
Secondly, hate to bring it up but it is relevant, a portion of the fandom raked Vex over the coals for being a “greedy bitch” and such, and never let her live it down. Vex being a female character, played by a woman at the table, drew a lot of criticism from some fans. That’s criticism I don’t see happening to the same degree towards Caleb, or even Nott (a female character played by Sam, a male player.) Wanting things as a female character, like money, security, respect, or time in the spotlight, is the greatest of sins according to some members of this fandom.
I don’t want anyone getting dragged over coals, but it makes me real mad that Vex and Laura got hate lobbed at them for ages, and now Caleb and Nott are getting free passes from people. I see it, and I don’t like it one bit.
Damn I didn’t expect anyone to actually respond to what I had to say- it’s rather disorienting, honestly 😆
This is really good! And I agree with what you said about Vex being a girl played by a girl. Unfortunately it really does make a difference in the way some of the fandom treats her. Which always got on my nerves, because honestly, I don’t think she ever actually did anything bad enough to deserve the backlash she got.
But yeah, thanks for adding on! I’ve never posted anything like this before, so I’m glad to see that people liked it enough to add their own thoughts.
Yes, as Laura said herself, Vex has never been anything but a team player. I don’t even really remember her “greed” getting the rest of the group into trouble. No, she didn’t die because she was greedy, she died because Percy was too hasty to get armor that was probably meant for him way back when. But somehow people never bring up that all that much? Not even Vax, in-universe, but oh well.
Vex also NEVER spent any of the money she hoarded for the entire team on herself. Their shopping trips never benefitted her overmuch, except for in the way buying potions to keep them all alive benefits anyone. And stealing the broom didn’t even get herself into trouble because she was smart about it, leave alone the rest of the group.
Caleb is not a team player. Caleb is in it for himself only, and maybe Nott, but I don’t quiiiiite trust him not to leave her yet when shit really hits the fan. I’m convinced Nott is devoted to Caleb – and I’m convinced Caleb is primarily devoted to his own survival.
We see that in how he handles the loot, mostly. Being able to identify things makes him a valuable asset, so no one will, at first, question him taking all the things. It’s just that he takes things first, identifies them, and then decides, on his own unless someone’s pinning him to a wall, whether or not sharing either information or things with the team is worth it.
Read: if wizards could wear armor, there’s no way in hell he would have given these things to Fjord, even though the imagery basically included Fjord’s name written on it.
He also explicitly went for the scroll case, rather than anything fancy that could be turned into money, because he assumes it’s a spell scroll that would make him more powerful – the same reason he ever feigned an interest in smut. It worked that one time. So he also very clearly values raw power and magic over money, and the whole shifty heist schtick is more about scamming people to get by when you need money, not to really amass money for himself… Which in a way still makes him greedy, just not for money, and only as a secondary motivation after survival; note how he dropped the case when Fjord threatened to leave him behind.
All of this makes him the least reliable and most shady team mate, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Liam I-Really-Like-To-Fuck-With-Your-Emotions O’Brien has made an actually evil character that might turn on the rest of the party at some point. And turn it into a learning experience of “hey look, this is what a truly greedy and selfish character looks like, and he’s also socially awkward, but funny how no one ever called for my removal from the game, isn’t it?”. Playing the long con, even out of character.
(And when that happens, we all should have seen it coming because of course that’s what the character with the German accent would do. Of fucking course.)
I can’t pinpoint which one, but I think at this point it’s safe to say that either Liam or Caleb seriously have a thing for being threatened and manhandled. Or probably both, let’s be real.
TALIESIN WHEN PEOPLE SAID THEY WANTED TO SEE MOLLY’S PEACOCK THIS IS NOT WHAT THEY HAD IN MIND.
Liam, when people said they wanted Caleb to climb Fjord like a tree, that’s not exactly what they had in mind.
I REALLY Wouldn’t Recommend Zemnian Porn – The German of Episodes 10 & 11
[Episode NEIN] [Entire series]
(If you don’t understand the joke, I truly envy you. And no, this is the one thing I won’t explain.)
Alright, so
I know I’m really late with this, but in my defense, there was very little
German in the last episodes, so I waited a while to compile it all. Here we go!
At one
point in episode 10, when Caleb has to say a name, he says “Schmidt”. It’s one
of the most common German last names, and literally means Smith. Well, Smith
the last name, not smith the profession. The word for that is Schmied. But it’s
literally the same word, or at least was a few centuries ago before some monk
decided the best way to speak German, the pure accurate way, was the way they
did it around Hanover. Most of the country chose to ignore that until this day.
The most
common surname in Germany is Müller, btw. Literally Miller. Both the name and
the profession.
Caleb also
asked “Was?” for clarification at one point. It means what, plain and simple.
On the last
real, on-set Talks Machina episode, Liam also said there was a lot of “Sturm
und Drang” around the argument between Caleb and Jester. Sturm und Drang is a
literary movement of the 1760ies – 1780ies. German teachers love it and will
make you interpret poems in class from this period a lot. And then you have to
read Goethe or Schiller.
Goethe, by
the way, is probably the only thing that will mean anything to an international
audience. He’s the one who wrote Faust, of Faustian Deal fame. Sell your soul
to the devil fuck a 14 year old after your poisoned her mom. Yes, that is the
basic plot, there’s a reason all you’ve (probably) heard about is the part
about deals with the devil.
(The link is to yet another Jan Böhmermann video. It has no English subtitles, but if you happen to be one of the German critters reading this, or in any way capable of getting a kick out of something in German, treat yourself.)
(Also, Faust was written a liiiiittle too late to reeeaaaally count as Sturm & Drang. But it’s where the author got started.)
I’m being
flippant about this on purpose, of course you can do serious research and all
that on your own if this is too dismissive for you, but in general, Sturm &
Drang was a movement of young, educated men who didn’t like authority and
conventions and had a lot of feelings they wrote poetry and plays about. The
hipsters of their time. Also, isn’t it fun how people literally always stay the
same?
In that regard,
I couldn’t think of a better way to describe fandom discourse. Kudos, Liam,
kudos.
(Sturm
& Drang is also what the school name Durmstrang was based on. I have
thoughts about this entire shebang, but, like… A school in Russia, attended by
Bulgarians, home of wizard Hitler the first, named after a German literary
movement… Riiiight.)
Episode 11
then featured a building which I think had the word “Zauber” in its name, but
everyone insisted on calling it “sauber”. The z in German is pronounced like a
ts. Zauber means spell. As in, to cast a magic spell, which is probably what it
was supposed to mean.
There are a
lot fewer words for magic and magicians in German, by the way. My first
instinct would be to call Caleb’s class Zauberer – the same way wizard was
translated in Harry Potter. However, official D&D books in German call the
wizard a Magier, which is closer to mage, technically. Zauberer is used for sorcerer,
but those terms are pretty synonymous, usually. I’d switch it, personally, but
I too can’t really think of a more appropriate word for the sorcerer class.
Warlock has
been translated as Hexenmeister, by the way. Literally witch master, and close
to the Witcher, at least in language. I don’t take issue with that, but then
again it’s what I’ve been used to since early WoW days, so hey.
Pronouncing
the Z like an S, aka saying “sauber”, turns it into a different word entirely. Sauber
means clean, which, you know, is also appropriate, given that we’re in the
fancy part of town.
And
speaking of fancy parts, there’s also the High Richter. I posted a little PSA
last week to make y’all aware that it most likely supposed to be spelled that
way, not Rickter or Ricter or whatever else you can come up with. Richter means
judge, the profession, which seems accurate – though I’m not entirely sure on
how the Wildemount legal system works. They way they talked to the woman made
her come off as more of a state prosecutor? Or something like an Inquisitor?
The campaign guide did state that the outer parts of the Dwendalian Empire were
inspired by Spain. Albeit 14th century Spain, which is one century
shy of the actual Spanish Inquisition. The one no one expects. Yes.
And because
this is kind of going to be my job, I can confidently tell you that we don’t
have any appropriate German term for a High Richter. There’s, of course, a
court hierarchy and all that, and you can rise within that hierarchy as a judge,
but your title just becomes judge of this and that court. And the word high is
not included anywhere.
So this is
it for the time being. Depending on the amount of German coming up in, like,
one hour from now, I might write the next post after Easter (which at least my
family soooort of celebrates), or wait until after episode 13.
Until then,
everyone remember: Taliesin Jaffe lied to you. They’re the Mighty Nein. N E I
N. Please. And yes, using a bunch of German automatically means you invite our
pedantic asses over to correct your spelling. Which just about every German I
have met in this community is happy and willing to do! Please consult us if you
plan on including any German in your fanfiction or fanart. None of us will be able to
agree on whether a certain phrase is appropriate to be used during sexytimes,
but at least it’ll be grammatically correct, and isn’t that what REALLY
matters?