Rating: E
Pairing: Perc’ahlia
Wordcount: 5995
A tale of two idiots who’d rather get naked than talk about their feelings. Until they do.
A smutty character study. Please be nice to a first time smut writer, and by nice I mean tell me how to do better. Politely.

Arbitrarily finished in time for @returnofismasm’s birthday. Go wish her a happy birthday, you nerds. Also special thanks to my editors @everknowing, @actualinspectorkemp and  @yashas-strong-arms. Love you all.

Part 1: The Door

 He’s shaking as he’s closing the door, even though she is the
one standing there without any clothes on. It’s almost enough to make
her feel bad. Almost. If he hadn’t come here to talk, the least they
could do is get something
out of the way.

 “Are you alright, dear?” She asks, inching closer, head cocked
in concern, and almost but not quite dropping the mocking tone to her
voice.

 “Yes,” he answers, as quickly as his eyes dart up and down her
naked form again. “Yes, quite.” Then he uncorks the bottle of what he’d
referred to as Courage and takes a long swig.

 Vex raises her eyebrows at him and crosses her arms, careful to
do it in a way that pushes up her tits for some totally accidental
cleavage.

 “Do you honestly need to be drunk for this?” Now her tone swings
back to sardonic and mocking. “I mean, by all means, do go on, this is
only the second least flattering thing that happened to me in the
bedroom. But once you accidentally call me by my brother’s name, I’ll
have to throw you out.”

 Making him choke on it was indeed an excellent way to get Percy
to put down the bottle, though it’s probably a shame about the
undoubtedly fancy liquor he’s coughing up. She graciously steps closer
and slaps his back to help with the process anyhow.

 “Great,” he manages to say between coughs, eyes transfixed on her collarbone for some reason. “Now that’s something for me to worry about.”

 She laughs at that. “I think you’ll do fine, dear,” Vex assures
him, cupping his cheek with the hand that had been slapping his back.
“And if all else fails, try using my full title, that should clear
things up. I mean, assuming you are… Uh… On board?”

 Now it’s his turn to laugh. Or at least chuckle under his
breath, while still avoiding looking at her eyes or anything beneath her
collarbone.

 “I came to your door, on the eve of battle, with a bag full of
alcohol,” Percy dryly sums up the evening’s proceedings so far. “I
thought we’d just sample some local spirits, and maybe after that we
could braid each other’s hair or play a round of chess. That is
absolutely all my plan entailed.”

 “Well then,” she snorts. “I’d say I’m so sorry for derailing
that, but, really, I’m not.” She pulls him closer by the collar of his
shirt (Percy wisely forwent putting on that coat for his, thank the
gods) and begins to press kisses up his jaw line. “Also,” she whispers
as she gets closer to his ear, and admires the goosebumps her tickling
breath sends down his neck. “I’ve grown rather tired of being all proper
and waiting for your move, really. You can’t just leave me hanging for
ages.” And she nibbles on his earlobe for good measure, making sure to
press her entire naked form against him as much as she can.

 “Four days,” he groans weakly, now finally touching her as well.
It’s just his hands on her waist, and probably only to steady himself
as her ministrations make his shivers return, but it’s a start. “It’s
only been four days since the woods.”

 Vex pulls away just enough to look at him, eyebrows raised mockingly.

 “Darling, if you seriously mean to tell me this thing here has
only been going on for four days, I actually might throw you out,” she
chides him. He laughs nervously.

 “Didn’t you give me the option of talking after?” Even his voice shakes at this point, his entire body taut with tension. “I choose that.”

 “Very well,” she says, putting on the lowest voice she can muster. “Then you better hope that Courage kicks in soon and start touching me.”

[Continue reading on AO3]