theonewithpurplehair:

gifsandfusings:

Okay, off the bat, I know that this is kindly meant and I really do appreciate the message of self-care. However, to be perfectly honest, this kind of made me doubt my own reality for a little because…no? I’ve barely posted about this (especially compared to like, any sort of conversation I took part in surrounding GoT, be it “Hold the Door,” Sansa’s revenge arc, Yara the rapist and abuser, etc.).

I summed up my thoughts on the episode, I got a message from a survivor that I found compelling in response so I posted that, then that led to another message that to me read as apology, so I answered that, and Gretchen elaborated on my response with a cogent reply. This is very standard for like, normal dialogue the night an episode airs. Then I woke up to some really disturbing messages and a dash full of “they’re both abusers and both survivors” posts with TONS of notes, so I explained why I didn’t like that at all.

And I think what bothers me the most is that this is not me being viciously aggressive (or “salty”, but I don’t think that’s how you meant it), this is literally me being upset about very literal abuse apologism. Like seriously, the narrative of “you’re just as bad to fight back,” or “you’re the real monster” (which oh hey, Jasper outright said) is a tactic of abusers. Then there’s the element of “well we know Lapis is actually stronger”; um, once again this is apologism, this idea that to be a victim you have to be completely lacking in any recourse against your abuser.

Add to this the fact that Lapis fusing with Jasper was framed as her protecting everyone?? It’s very much like the trope of a parent  who stays with an abusive partner to protect their kids. I’m sorry, but there is really no ambiguity in what the narrative was going for when you have Jasper swinging Lapis around like a ragdoll, Jasper saying “just say yes,” the way Jasper promised to change, her cold eyes and terrifying smile… This held NO punches in how it realistically explored that dynamic, which is why the utter perversion of the message that I’m seeing is so upsetting. This is shit people live. The “I’m bad too” anxiety is one that many many survivors internalize and need to combat.

Like, fuck, I’m all for positive butch representation, and not just for smol characters like Ruby (which based on previews we may or may not be getting it in a different character? Kinda too early to tell), but I’m seeing literal posts of Jasper’s biceps with “fuck me up” as the caption…that is SO disturbing! This is seriously glorifying a very clear abuser. I haven’t seen the likes of this anywhere outside of 50 Shades of Grey.

So this idea that I’m lost and committed to negativity, like…no! What is everyone on? I’m not trying to say Lapis’s actions are 100% free of problem and justified, or that Jasper herself didn’t have a horribly abusive upbringing (Homeworld creating secondary abusers for millennia, yo), but the narrative outright recognizes how damaging perpetuating the abuse cycle is, and how though lashing out at her abuser may have been cathartic for Lapis on some level, she lost something of herself in the process and that’s not easy to come back from. She is *haunted* by what happened, and she fiercely rejects continuing on that path so that she can allow for self-healing. This episode was all about Lapis breaking the cycle of abuse and asserting her agency in a safe way; realizing what she had been doing and how it made her feel, and choosing to stop it. It was her gaining recourse not through violence, but through healing. And the mental gymnastics people are doing to create a false equivalency here is incredibly concerning to me.

At most you could say that there was an unintended narrative (a “reverse honeypot” as I call it) that Lapis is truly the perpetrator of violence since we don’t *see* her being thrown in the cell or what that experience was, and how goddamn powerful she is when she chooses to use her powers (so I guess she doesn’t “look” like someone who could be coerced into fusion?). But given the crystal clear way their dynamic is framed and the way Jasper’s coded (I’m not talking “butch” here; I’m talking her eyes and smile, and entire mannerisms/speech), I think it’s really reaching to suggest that it’s somehow irresponsible to not run with that implication. And that’s the dialogue I’m seeing. And that’s why I’m upset. This is not blind hatred towards Jasper; this is me trying to engage in a dialogue that I see harming a lot of people.

I stand by this 100%. As an abuse survivor myself, Jasper’s tone, body language, facial expression, and dialogue in “Alone at Sea” is clearly coded for an abuser attempting to ‘reconcile’ (read: regain control over) her victim. 

Jasper starts by gaslighting, flipping the script on Lapis and making it seem like it is her fault and she is the real abuser/monster, and sadly it seems that a portion of the audience has bought into Jasper’s interpretation. But remember that before Malachite happened, this is how the gems around Jasper responded to her:

Lapis and Peridot both step away from her, terrified looks on their faces. Jasper, on the other hand is GRINNING. She is enjoying this, she is about to unfuse Garnet and she is reveling in it. She enjoys inflicting pain on others. 

And then we see Peridot around Steven:

Steven gets out a towel to show Peridot how you would have fun on a beach and Peridot visibly cringes. She believes she is about to get beaten, or worse. Where was Peridot before she came to the Crystal Gems? Traveling with Jasper. 

To me, the abuse narrative cannot be more clear. Jasper is an abuser. She probably was made to be and act this way by Homeworld, and that’s not a thing to be ignored. At the same time, she is clearly and repeatedly coded as an abuser long before we hear that Lapis has reacted to her abuse with violence of her own. 

Let’s also remember that Lapis spent thousands of years trapped in a mirror. We do not know what her position on Homeworld was before this, but given that she was in the equivalent of solitary confinement for thousands of years (and damaged while in her prison), she would not be in any state to be controlling anyone even if she had been of high status in her old life. 

Once freed, Lapis ended up being captured and again imprisoned on Jasper’s ship, who we know abused Peridot. 

All that to say, Lapis is not in a fit state to consent to Jasper when Jasper wants to fuse. Jasper pressures her, does not respect her hesitation or ‘no’. Jasper is coercing someone who is already damaged and not capable of giving full, joyful consent given her state of mind and recent experience. 

This does not justify her taking out her pain on Jasper, at all, even if it was cathartic. But let’s not pretend that Lapis is the instigator here. That is not what the show has given us. The one character who has been consistently coded as reveling in hurting others, that other characters are afraid of and react as if they’ve been physically injured by, is Jasper. To say otherwise is abuse apoligism.

@returnofismasm and @notaficwriter know why I’m bringing this back 🙂