stop scrolling

tokyo-oranges:

mapelie:

coolcatgroup:

iloveurcat:

biyek:

biyek:

and look at this man

he says thank you, you may continue scrolling now

since so many people like this man here are some facts about him for your reading pleasure:

– his name is Tubs

– he was a street cat before being taken to a shelter

– he was nearly put down because no one adopts cats everyone wants kittens

– he’s really soft

– like… Really soft

– he’ll start purring the second you start petting him or pick him up and it’s the deepest, most soothing purr ever

– he’s really good at sensing when someone is in distress and comes to cheer them up by doing silly cat things and headbutting them

– we have two other cats we got after adopting him and he’s their big brother

– he grooms the dog

– he will lick your hand while you pet him

– he has a white patch of fur on his tummy

– it took us months to figure out what to call him because we’d never had a “family” cat before so we couldn’t agree on a name

– we also call him Big Cat as well as his name because he is a Large boy

– no seriously he’s like 18 lbs

– he goes crazy if you scratch his back near his tail

– he steals hair ties and hides them… he has a stash somewhere but we have yet to locate it

– he opens cupboards and pulls out their contents and then just leaves

– he jumps on the counter and watches while the dishes are being washed

– he demands to be let into the bathroom if someone is in there

– he’s really fascinated by the toilet flush noise

– he has a personal vendetta against anything stick-like like pencils, paint brushes, popsicle sticks, etc. and will steal and destroy them

– he loves NERF darts

– he tries to escape sometimes but he gets like three feet out the back door and just sits there like “what do I do now”

– he’s surprisingly fast and agile for a cat his size

– he’s not even overweight or anything he’s just naturally this big

– he nearly died a few years ago due to a blockage in his urinary tract and is now on special food to make sure it never happens again

– he will go to the door to greet people coming in and loves to be around people

– he will try to steal the other cats’ food if we don’t watch while they’re eating

– he knows he shouldn’t do it because as soon as we approach him he runs off lmao

– he will share my bed with our newest cat Tiramisu when I’m not sleeping in it

– he’s a happy, friendly, perfect cat and I would die for him

– my mom is convinced he and our other male cat are both gay and Tubs is a bear

– I told him tumblr likes him and he headbutted me so I’m relaying it to everyone who liked/reblogged this post he loves you all

😻😻😻😻

Wow thank you so much for the details we needed them

The many reasons why I love older cats 😻😻😻😻😻

tokyo-oranges:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

smolstiel:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

aro-ace-fangirl:

pwapboi:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

so in horror movies where flat tires stop people from running away…you can still drive with flat tires. it damages the tires and the wheels, and it’s not safe at high speeds, but you can still drive away from a raving serial killer. pro tip next time a knife wielding lunatic comes at you get in the car, you’ll be fine

well this would have been useful last night

See this is where people make the mistake. If the knife maniac is running straight at your car, SLAM it into reverse. You probably won’t kill them but you might cause some damage. Then drive. They’ll be stopped and you can get away, and maybe they’ll even be at the same spot to call the cops (and maybe the ambulance) on

what a top notch addition to an already excellent post

are we going to ignore the guy who apparently had an encounter with a serial killer last night

they lived to post about it, it’s fine

soleminisanction:

vassraptor:

feathersmoons:

wtfarraki:

thatsacooldragon:

I always approve of ladies having a chill time with dragons. Who needs to be a damsel in distress?

artist unknown

Art source:
Dragon Resting Its Head On The Lap Of A Woman – R. Leinweber (1912)

She looks like the dragon just, like, threw up a hairball (scale-ball) on the carpet and then came over to look innocent, though. That is exactly the look I give my cats when I say, “You know it’s a good thing you’re so fucking cute.”

The dragon’s expression, tho. This human is my human.

walkingoutintherain:

missshirley:

music-in-the-bell-jar:

50shadesofyodaddysdick:

holdtightclothing:

longquark:

putmeincoach:

jehovahhthickness:

airspaniel:

utf2005:

fluffy-overlord:

bitchwhoyoukiddin:

drst:

unbelievable-facts:

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters – the costume and special effects teams.

*fistbump*

Confirmed.  He’s also dumped millions into cancer research.  I really do love Keanu Reeves a lot.

Keanu Reeves is like the nicest person. He still lives in an apartment/flat and he gives most of his money away to charities and people who need it. He even invites some paparazzi people to sit down and eat with him when he’s at a coffee shop or restaurant. He’s such a nice person.

When I was working on the UWS, one of my delivery guys accidentally backed his scooter into a parked car in front of the restaurant. I went out to help, since the driver didn’t speak much English, and it turned out the car belonged to Keanu Reeves. He helped us pick the scooter up, and when I asked if we could exchange insurance information (because the front of the car was pretty banged up), he kept telling us not to worry about it and put his hand on the driver’s shoulder and said “I just want to make sure you’re okay, man. Are you okay?” And he was so sincere about it and so kind that I decided in that moment I would always defend Keanu Reeves at all costs. He is an excellent man.

I need to be more like Keanu Reeves because I’m evil compared to him.

“Next few centuries”

Keanu dropping hints that he is an immortal.

i love keanu reeves

My wife and I were dining at Nobu’s in Honolulu and sitting across from us was Keanu or at least I thought it was. We kept talking about whether it was him or not and finally, I decided to throw some old school Bill & Ted at him.

I stood up and threw my arms up into the motion of an air guitar, my wife is begging me to sit back down, and I pointed at the guy who may be Keanu Reeves, and said, “Most Excellent.”

He stood up and did it back at me. Then we both had a moment and pointed at each other. I sent him another of whatever it was he was drinking. It was a cucumber sake martini. That was the end of it.

Or so I thought.

He left before we finished our meal. By the time we were done, dessert came that we didn’t order. We thought, “oh, must be compliments of the chef.” Then the bill never came. When we asked for it, our waitress said Keanu Reeves took care of it.

IT WAS REALLY HIM. And he left a note. It said, “thanks for the refresh. Keanu.”

When I finally saw him again years later, because of work. I brought it up. Then he air guitar and said, “most excellent. I remember. At Nobu’s. Thanks for the drink.” We chatted a bit and I got an autograph for my mum because she’s a huge Keanu fan. Then that was that.

What a moment.

An angel

And he does a lot of anti human trafficking work iirc. Seems like a really awesome guy.

Back when I first moved to NYC, I got a job as a theater usher. We were all young, 18-20 or so, and it was heavily impressed upon us that we needed to treat the theatergoers with TOTAL respect at ALL times or risk our jobs. As such, we were all totally underprepared for the drunk guy who tried to steal a bottle of wine from the lobby bar during intermission. We were trying to politely get the bottle back, but he was growing loud and belligerent. Since the second act was now starting, this was a countdown to all of us being in trouble. 

Then Keanu walks up. Calmly charms the guy. Slips the usher behind the bar cash to cover the bottle, without the guy even noticing, and walks him back in to his seat like it’s a normal thing he does every day. He didn’t know the guy, didn’t know any of us, but effortlessly deescalated the situation and quite probably saved some jobs that night. 

Just a wandering do-gooder, this man.

#everything i’ve ever heard anecdotally about keanu reeves #further convinces me that he is the chillest immortal #like he’s probably just spent centuries donating blood instead of drinking it (via @revolutionarygirlshati)